You really coming over, don't trick.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
