you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
