All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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