did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
