The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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