This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
