More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
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She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
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your like the ambassador to my penis.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Dicks are not precious.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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