my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
