You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
