She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks