he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
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Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
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I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.