so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.