I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?