I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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