For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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