I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button