yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
