You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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