maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
