I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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