Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
