He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
