So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
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I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
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You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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