North Korea, Best Korea!
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
