OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
So many bounce houses so little time
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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