i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
