Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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