hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
