I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
