if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
