the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
we should paint friendship bongs
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
