She went from zero to smokin in five shots
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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