Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
