Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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