I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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