all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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