there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
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Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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