Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize