I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
