i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
