....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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