I bet he comes in French.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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