Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
