i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
