Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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