yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
