whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
