he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
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Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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