You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
