You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
