last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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