hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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