he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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