i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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