coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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