forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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