...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
