Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
