You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
