I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
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then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
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Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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