there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
