The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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