he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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