I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
