I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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