Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
