actually, I'm a sock model
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
