3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
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