What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...