Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh