i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
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We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
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I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.