Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.