it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
