New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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